| Q |
"Did you know Amsterdam's got eighty-eight kennels? And they're all
declared beautiful!" |
| A |
"Really? No, if i'd known i'd have taken a much easier barking course
instead of that difficult Dutch conversation course." |
| Q |
"Yes, a friendly police officer told me so off-duty in a brown café.
'E said it in Dutch and then translated it for me. It sounded like:
'Aghtentaghtigh praghtighe ghraghten' 1 ." |
| A |
"Quentin, that's a tongue-twister for foreigners and it means
Eighty-eight beautiful ca-NALS, not KEnnels! Sometimes the
Dutch turn stresses around like they turn words around. They say 'one and
twenty' instead of 'twenty-one' and they call me 'an-DRE-a' instead of
'AN-dre-a'.
|
| Q |
"Well, in former times the English also used to say 'one and twenty'.
And an-DRE-a exists too, doesn't it?" |
| A |
"Alright, but not CAnals. Moreover, Dutch people don't
distinguish between the vowel in a word like dense and in
dance, when pronounced the American way. The two words sound
exactly the same for them. They've got no ash." |
| Q |
"No ash? You're kiddin'! You go to a bar here and there's ash
all over the place; in restaurants even on the table next to your
plate." |
| A |
"Yes, Quentin, cigaret ash -- way too much of it.
But i'm talking about the English vowel in words like cat. For the
Dutch it doesn't make a difference whether you sand a wooden statue
that has been scratched or whether you send it, scratches and all." |
| Q |
"Still, i've good reason to believe that police officer did mean
'KEnnels'. The K was even in the name of the division for which 'e worked:
the K-9 squad. I thought that stood for Kennel 9 or the ninth
kennel or, perhaps, kennels. Don't tell me now that the K
stands for the Dutch word kanaal 2 . Why on
earth would the people living on the ninth canal have their own police
section looking after them?" |
| A |
"I don't know. Perhaps, because all eighty-eight kennels are in their
neighborhood and there is a considerable number of people complaining
about dogs barking and biting them. Or, it's their own dogs biting
others." |
| Q |
"Andrea, you're no help. You just said there are not
eighty-eight kennels but eighty-eight canals in Amsterdam. More canals
than i've got friends, let alone friends who're patient enough to listen
to me and explain things to me. ... I had a very nice conversation with
that officer, but suddenly 'e walked away without even saying goodbye.
Would you have any idea why?" |
| A |
"No, it surprises me. Police officers are usually polite and supposed
to be very disciplined, especially when working for a division like the
K-9 squad. What did you say to 'im before 'e walked away?" |
| Q |
"Nothing special. 'E'd drunk a little bit too much and called me 'My
foreign friend'. And i'd drunk a little bit too much as well, and i found
that foreign kind of impersonal, even a bit patronizing. So i
called 'im 'My K-9 friend'." |
| A |
"K-9 friend? No wonder, 'e left you without saying anything." |
| Q |
"Why?" |
| A |
"You, dog! Would you like to be called my canine
friend?" |
| Q |
"Canine?" |
| A |
"Yes, like you might call your cat a feline friend." |
| Q |
"Oh, crisis, that's it! I made an enemy in the Police Dog Section. ...
I do hope 'e meant canals, because i won't even be able to stand
the sight of one beautiful kennel anymore." |
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