CREATED A (K)NIGHT
"Do you know how old he was?"
"I really don't know, but I do remember that he was created a Knight in
1958."
"Oh, then he was probably born in 1959."
38.MSW-67th Mid-Northeast
STILL CELEBRATING (E)X(ISM)-MAS?
Still celebrating
on the Gregorian-Christian calendar?
Celebrate the New Year on
66.ENE-67th Early Northeast
RELIGIOUS NUMBERS (1): 9410
Nine (9) or more wives for the prophet Muhammad himself, four (4) wives
for all other nonslaves with the same sex, one (1) husband for all other
nonslaves with the same sexual orientation, no (0) spouses for all others.
66.ESW-66th Late Southwest
MORTAL PHILOSOPHY
Some philosophers are that popular for improper reasons while alive that
their philosophical expressions and outpourings will have disappeared
before their bodies.
62.LNE-66th Mid-Southwest
RAPING TRUTH
In this day and age it is still possible to rape truth in any way you
like, so long as you call it "religion".
45.MSE-66th Early Southwest
THRILLING TWO BIRDS WITH ONE BONE
What do you call the activity of a potent man who excites two young
women simultaneously?
64.ESW-66th Late Southeast
THE MOST CHRISTIAN COUNTRY
Before the genocide Ruanda was said to be the most Christian country in
Africa.
After the horrible massacres, representatives of the all-pervading
religion that never prevented them claim that those involved were not
Christians -- a type of apologetics which is most Christian indeed.
57.MNW-66th Mid-Southeast
FIVE IN A ROW
Do you know why the British prefer 'queueing up' to 'lining up' when
waiting for a bus to come?
Because they need a commonly used word with five vowels in a row for their
quizzes.
40.ENE-66th Early Southeast
NEED A DEGREE?
Need a degree? Get a Master of Divinity from a theocentrist diploma mill.
64.LNW-66th Equatorial Month
THE ENEMY OF MY ENEMY
The enemy of my enemy is a friend or an enemy who is even worse.
66.MNE-66th Late Northwest
MARY OF NAZARETH
Many Christianists put Mary of Nazareth, of all women, on the highest
pedestal in the universe, while even Biblical legend does not mention
one moral deed or creative expression by her herself.
Devoid of any substantive virtue or talent of her own whatsoever she
resides there at the top in an emptiness which would have been complete
if it were not for the things added to her repertoire by idolaters of
later times.
They doubtless sensed too that, regardless of fact, a woman of value was
needed next to those (al)mighty males.
55.MSE-66th Mid-Northwest
A LONG CANDLE
Pace Shakespeare, when life is a long candle it needs some blows now and
then.
64.ESE-66th Early Northwest
A SMIDGEN
It just takes a smidgen to offend against monotheist religion.
42.MNW-66th Late Northeast
MORE THAN 5,000 TIMES NEWS
If Edd Doerr, president of Americans for Religious Liberty, has written
more than 5,000 published books, sections of books, articles, columns, book
and film reviews, translations, letters, short stories, and poems (and made
more than two thousand speeches and radio and television appearances), why,
then, could James Hunt, the Formula One racing driver, not have had sex
with more than 5,000 women? (Or John Doe, for that matter.)
64.ESW-66th Mid-Northeast
THE CALVINIST HYSTERON PROTERON
Some claim that the Dutch (and a number of other nations) are so
hard-working and persevering because they are a Calvinist nation.
Surely, those who say this put the horse behind the cart.
If there is any truth in this sweeping statement at all, it is because
the Dutch were so hard-working and persevering that many --too
many of them-- were willing and able to embrace Calvinism.
After all, the Dutch had to fight flooding rivers and the sea long before
Calvin fought pleasure and natural reason.
43.MNE-66th Early Northeast
EQUAL AS PAWNS AND MINIONS
Monotheists say that everyone is equal before God, but as far as the
Abraham-religions are concerned it is the equality of pawns on a
chess board, of minions in a monarchy.
65.ENE-65th Late Southwest
THERE IS NOTHING AGAINST THEM
There is nothing against communism, so long as you recognize all people's
rights to participate or not to participate; and there is nothing against
capitalism, so long as you recognize all people's rights to an equal
initial share in the natural resources.
42.ESE-65th Mid-Southwest
TO HELL WITH WHAT?
Why should so-called 'angry Muslims' be allowed to demonstrate in public,
if their only message is To hell with freedom?
Those who show no respect for freedom do not deserve the freedom to
demonstrate against it.
64.ESW-65th Early Southwest
'NEO'?
What does the prefix neo mean? 'Neo-Gothic' is nothing else than
mock-Gothic. And 'neo-conservative' is not even mock-conservative:
it's just conservatism all over again.
46.MSE-65th Late Southeast
'DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL'
'We'll not ask you if you're a religious zealot or other religionist who
discriminates against non-Christians or non-Judeo-Christians; or if you're
a heterosexual who discriminates against non-heterosexuals.
As long as you don't tell us, we'll receive you in our service and be
proud of you.'
64.LSW-65th Mid-Southeast
EARTHY IRRELEVANTISM
If extraterrestials found the phrase The woman turned off the gas
in an English grammar book, they would stand there in utter complexity,
wondering what on Earth could be the relevant connection between turning
off the gas and the sex of the one turning off the gas.
41.ESE-65th Early Southeast
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO DISCOVER
In Australia they have found 'enough natural gas to keep a city of
one million inhabitants going for 800 years', they say.
What they forget in Australia and elsewhere is that a city of one million
at present will be a city of 150 million or so in 800 years, if humans go
on multiplying as they have been doing until now, without population and
family planning, the most important thing to discover.
64.LSE.-65th Equatorial Month
PTL
Does PTL stand for Praise The Lord or Pity The Ludricous?
42.MNW-65th Late Northwest
ANTITERRORISTS IN UGANDA
Ugandans, too, have signed a petition asking their parliament not
to enact a terrorist heterosexist bill.
(This bill, thought up by Abrahamic religionists, does not even
confine its regime of terror to homo- and bisexuals by demanding the
death penalty for certain forms of homosexuality, it even extends the
terror to heterosexuals who 'fail' to report others, like their own
child or patient, to the authorities.)
65.ENW-65th Mid-Northwest
THE FIGHT AGAINST ANTISEMITISM
Antisemitism will have to be combatted in two different ways:
(1) (directly) by fighting against anti-Semitism; and (2) (indirectly)
by fighting against (exclusivist) pro-Judaism or pro-Semitism.
The two will always evoke each other, as both of them propagate
an exclusivist attitude towards Jews or Semites.
42.LSE-65th Early Northwest
A GIANT LEAP, A BIG MISTAKE
The first human being landed on the moon, while making a mistake. It was,
perhaps, one small step for a man, but it was definitely not 'one small
step for man'. It was a giant leap for man, that is, for mankind or,
rather, humankind.
64.ESE-65th Late Northeast
'REPRESENTATIVES OF ALL RELIGIONS'
When conservatives think of 'representatives of all religions' in
their government, i.e., of all Christian and Jewish sects, then, as
a conscientious nonreligionist, you feel treated like scum.
26-27 aSWW-65th Mid-Northeast
THE FOURTH MIDWINTER DAY
Adherents of a certain Abraham religion often insist on celebrating the
fourth, or even the fifth, Midwinter Day.
They may do so, but, if they get paid for their work, let them take one or
two days off then.
37.ENE-65th Early Northeast
MOZI'S UNIVERSAL LOVE, 24 CENTURIES AGO
'If human beings were to regard the conditions of others as they regard
their own, who would raise up 'er state, city, family or friends to attack
the other?'
64.MNE-64th Late Southwest
SICK PARASITES
People who refuse to give their organs away on religious grounds, but who
are eager to receive them when they are ill themselves are sick parasites.
60.LNE-64th Mid-Southwest
DOUBLE DUTCH
What do you get when a fertile Dutch man and a fertile Dutch woman
copulate without using a contraceptive?
64.ENW-64th Early Southwest
NOT EATING WITH JEWS OR MUSLIMS
If a Sikh does not eat with Jews or Muslims, it should not be because
refuses to eat with them, whatever it is, but because 'e should not eat the
meat of animals killed in the Judaist or Muslim fashion. And that is or may
be right, however wrong the Sikh creed is or may be in other respects.
56.LNE-64th Late Southeast
A PRETTY AFFORDABLE PAST TIME
Some write about 'a pretty affordable past time', but the past is entirely
affordable, unless, perhaps, you have not yet paid off old debts. It is the
present time which is not always affordable, dependent, of course, on what
kind of pastime you find yourself enjoying.
64.MNW-64th Mid-Southeast
THE FAST FOOD OF FANATICAL FAITH
Evangelicalism is the fast food of fanatical faith.
44.NML-64th Early Southeast
HOW 'ALL THAIS' ARE MONARCHISTS
Monarchists (Thai and foreign) cannot but repeat that 'all Thais love their
Royal Family'. Why, then, must it be treated as a serious crime not to
revere the Monarch and His Family? And why, then, do Thai authorities have
to close down 2,000 to 3,000 websites in one short period which are
said to offend the same familially exclusivistic establishment?
It demonstrates again that, in the end, there is a majestic chasm between
monarchy and democracy.
64.ENE-64th Equatorial Month
UNDER THE RUG
The Judaist rule that a Jew is someone whose mother is Jewish, designed to
define away everyone who is not fully Jewish, sweeps, in a hypocritical,
sexist manner, the existence of partially Jewish human beings under the
rug.
In this respect it is no different from the racist rule of hypodescent in
which every hybrid is completely assigned to the race of only one parent,
albeit the race which is considered inferior.
42.LSE-64th Late Northwest
THAT OF AN AUCTIONEER
What profession involves crying a lot?
63.EQU-64th Mid-Northwest
IN THE SANCTUARY OF PLURALISM
Nowadays perhaps as many intrinsic and fundamental values, virtues, duties
and rights live in the sanctuary of pluralism as once the number of gods
in Mecca, that is, about 360.
But just as under the primacy of divine authority polytheism was
at the time succeeded by a monotheist doctrine (Muhammad's), so the
present 'poly-value-ism' (value pluralism) will, under the
primacy of the denominational norm, be succeeded by a monistic doctrine
that recognizes only one value at the highest level, or one value for each
of a few essentially different spheres of reality.
45.MNW-64th Early Northwest
DOWN WITH MICHELANGELO
Joseph Ratzinger, formerly with the Hitlerjugend, now Fuehrer at the
Vatican, will not allow homosexuals to defile the ceiling of the Sistine
Chapel any longer.
63.MSW-64th Late Northeast
THEIR GOALS ARE GAOLS
The goals of retributive deontology are gaols.
41.LSE.-64th Mid-Northeast
BABYLONIAN LOVE
'Be pleasant to your enemy; return good to one who does evil to you.'
62.ESE-64th Early Northeast
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